J Allen Matchmaking Blog

Jokingly, singles will often call Valentine’s Day “single awareness day”. If you spent another Valentines Day alone, or with someone who isn’t…a special someone, maybe it is time for a change.

Maybe you are too busy to find yourself a date and enhance your social life, or maybe you are using the traditional means of online dating, bars and introductions from friends. Either way, if it isn’t working maybe it is time to consider another avenue: a matchmaker.

Hiring a matchmaker is a personal investment.  As an executive, you understand the value for your dollar spent. When you hire J. Allen Matchmaking, Janine becomes your personal assistant for your most personal affairs. You don’t have the time to focus on your personal life, let us.

Our clients are accomplished, well-off single business men and business women who are too busy with their lives to take a trial-and-error approach to dating and who value their privacy. Our clients know what they want in a potential partner and are seeking a shortcut to finding this special relationship. Our clients understand that online dating and the single scene are not the way to find a relationship.

J. Allen Matchmaking is worth every penny, contact us.

If figuring out what women want on Valentine's Day is tough, figuring out what men want may be even tougher. After all, Valentine's Day isn't only about the ladies. The National Confectioner's Association conducted a national study which revealed exactly what men and women want. This info could help some couples find sweet success this Valentine's Day. Her is what the study found:

• A Penchant for Pralines? When asked to select the sexiest Valentine's Day candy, men were more likely than women (25% vs. 23%) to select specialty candies such as truffles, pralines and caramels. Men were also more likely to select dark chocolate, whereas women felt milk chocolate was the sexiest candy to give a spouse or significant other.

Tip for Women: consider exploring more sophisticated gift ideas for your spouse or significant other this Valentine's Day. Just because your man is a sports junkie, doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate the finer things in life!

• Procrastinate Later. Surprisingly, more men than women (8% vs. 6%) selected "the evening before Valentine's Day" as the ideal time to present a loved one with candy.

• Intimate Settings. Both men and women desire a romantic, private setting for their special Valentine's Day. According to the survey, nearly 40% of respondents rated "in front of the fireplace" as the most popular place to share candy. For women, the second best place to savor sweets was after a nice dinner. Not surprisingly, men preferred enjoying the treat "in bed."

  Tip : A romantic location is always preferred to present a sweet treat to your Valentine. Pick a place that commemorates a special memory, moment or occasion in your relationship.

• Breakfast in Bed? Both men and women (32%) felt that waking up with a sexy sweet is the best way to start Valentine's Day.

While men and women may have specific preferences, the results of NCA's survey show that candy has a place in everyone's heart on Valentine's Day. Everyone appreciates classic Valentine's Day gifts. Candy is a romantic classic, and can be very personal, reflecting the individual tastes of the person you love.

Chocolate is a clear favorite that everyone from couples to companions can enjoy. While some people might celebrate Valentine's Day in an intimate setting, others might consider hosting a chocolate tasting or a chocolate and wine pairing party to experience a range of tastes, textures and aromas.

Study found on ABC

Online dating is great for meeting lots of people, but you may not necessarily meet the one  you want.

Everyone knows someone who met a special someone online. Some of our friends have even met their spouses on an Internet dating site. They’re happily married.

Is online dating a better way than offline dating to find guys who are more compatible and, therefore, better husband material?

Internet dating is just as unpredictable as the non-digital version of dating. You never know how things are going to evolve until they do. Dating online may give you access to a lot more people than you’d ordinarily meet, but are they quality people, and do you have the time to meet and get to know them all, only to find out, “this is NOT the one”.  

These observations have been tested in a new study by social psychologists. The extensive new study published in the journal Psychological Science sought to answer some critical questions about online dating: fundamentally, how does online dating differ from traditional, face-to-face dating? And, importantly, does it lead to more successful romantic relationships?

In the 64-page report, the authors reviewed more than 400 studies and surveys on the subject asking questions like if scientific algorithms online dating sites use can really lead to better and more lasting relationships (no); whether the benefits of endless mate choices online have limits (yes); and whether communicating online by trading photos and emails before meeting in person can promote stronger connections (to a certain extent).

Digital dating is now the second most common way that couples get together, after meeting through friends. But there are certain properties of online dating that actually work against love-seekers, the researchers found, making it no more effective than traditional dating to find a happy relationship.

One downside to Internet dating has to do with one of its defining characteristics: the profile. In the real world, it takes days or even weeks for the mating dance to unfold, as people learn each others likes and dislikes and stumble through the awkward but often rewarding process of finding common ground.

That leaves a) less mystery and surprise when singles meet face to face. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it also means that some of the pleasure of dating, and building a relationship by learning to like a person is diluted.

It also means that b) people may unknowingly skip over potential mates for the wrong reasons. The person you see on paper doesn’t translate neatly to a real, live human being, and there’s no predicting or accounting for the chemistry you might feel with a person whose online profile was the opposite of what you thought you wanted. Offline, that kind of attraction would spark organically.

A Matchmaker understands what creates chemistry. Matchmaking is the art of meeting and introducing people who can potentially have a life together. Face to face meetings and interviews in order to find the person who is right for you specifically, no mathematics or algorithms necessary. Contact J. Allen Matchmaking to hear more about how our services work for you.

Original article - Time

In the mood for love? It’s one of the most romantic holidays of the year. Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and there are plenty of fun things to do around Boston. Whether you're looking for a great date idea, a new way to meet people, or just something creative to do, here are some options.

'TRIALS OF LOVE' COMEDY NIGHT
"All you need in the world is love and laughter" goes the saying by acclaimed American playwright August Wilson. What about laughing with the one you love? Flex those laugh lines and take in a comedy show at Mottley's, where comic Mike Dorval (pictured) will perform a show about matters of the heart called "Trials of Love." Dorval will be bringing couples up on stage to settle old scores, once and for all.

CHARITY DATE AUCTION
The Estate will play host to Project Cupid's 3d annual Date Auction, where eligible men and women will be up for grabs all in the name of a good cause. Among those to be auctioned is former NESN reporter Heidi Watney. Proceeds from the event will benefit Pediatric Leukemia research at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and The Jimmy Fund.

TAKE A CRUISE AROUND THE HARBOR
Love on the horizon? The Spirit of Boston will be hosting a special dinner for valentines aboard the boat, where diners will go for a spin around Boston Harbor. Following dinner there will also be dancing and a champagne toast.

VICTORIAN VALENTINE PARTY AT BOUTIQUE FABULOUS
Do you long for the days when men wore top hats and women wore gloves? So does the staff at Boutique Fabulous. Stop by the Inman Square shop on Feb. 11 and celebrate a Valentine's Day of yesteryear. Guests can enjoy chocolate, tea, and champagne — plus a little shopping, of course.

NAKED SCAVENGER HUNT AT THE MFA
See the Museum of Fine Arts in a whole new way. This scavenger hunt takes you through the building in search of artwork that features nudity. Think Gauguin's island girls and Roman statues in various states of undress.

GLASS BLOWING AND WINE TASTING
How's this for a new way to meet people: sip some wine and munch on appetizers while enjoying a glass blowing demonstration at the Diablo Glass School. Instructors will shape the molten glass with the aid of a roaring fire, so either way there will be sparks flying. Is it getting hot in here?
 
DINING IN THE DARK
Seeing is believing? Not at this event. This sensory adventure at the Hampshire House will lead diners through an entire meal while blindfolded, creating a heightened sense of taste, touch, scent, and sound.
 
FLIRT FEST AT THE BELL IN HAND
Remember high school superlatives, when your classmates would vote on who was the class clown, must likely to succeed, and most talented? The Bell in Hand Tavern is hosting a party for Valentine's Day in honor of another superlative: biggest flirt. Wink at that cutie in the corner while enjoying cocktails and appetizers in a party atmosphere. Stick around to see who will be crowned "Boston's Biggest Flirt."

Boston.com

In an age when everyone is a digital brand, we’ve become experts at expressing ourselves — or at least our aspirational selves — all over the Web.

Nowhere is that more evident than the dating realm — matchmaking sites had 593 million visits last October alone. Today, 20% of singles say they have dated someone they met online.

Yet as the pool of potential matches expands, so too does romantic idealism. With so many fish in the sea, the logic goes, my exact match must be one of them. The result: “People don’t know how to make concessions anymore,” says Janine Bush, president of Massachusetts based J. Allen Matchmaking.

And then there’s the other wrinkle: As social media merges with our social lives, we draw conclusions about our dates before we’ve actually met them. But as Gary Genard, president of Arlington’s Public Speaking International, points out, “Those [online] environments are much less rich for giving people information that they can use to judge whether they like us.”

So, what’s a Net-savvy dater to do? Use social media as a tool, not a strategy, and keep romantic tweets and posts in their proper place. For the record, the proper place is never while on a date.

Original Article – Boston Magazine

There are many single women and single men in Boston who are ready to commit. They are ready to find that special someone and date steadily with the hope of something more.
 
Perhaps you are dating, perhaps you are using online dating sites, perhaps you are hitting the singles scene. It’s not working and you want to try something else.

Maybe it is time to try matchmaking. Hesitant? Not sure? Well that’s okay. At J. Allen Matchmaking, we have another option for you. Join our matchmakers club for Free!  Not everyone has the budget to become a client but you still want to be introduced to quality people.

What is the Matchmakers Club? While we are not actively seeking a match for you, we will introduce you to our active members when we see a fit. Contact us.

Are you attractive, successful and ready for a commitment?  You are a great catch, and you are still single.  Why is it so hard to meet the right person? Because you are going about it the right way. A professional matchmaker is what you need.

As your matchmaker, we become a headhunter for your heart. We will find high caliber, high quality single men and women who meet your criteria by using our extensive database, recruiting, networking, and we may even discreetly advertise to find your perfect match. Whatever it takes to help you find the perfect match.

Like many Bostonians, you don’t have time to read online personal ads, you don’t have time for the bar single scene, blind dates haven’t worked and everyone you know is from work. Looking for the perfect match is time-consuming and frustrating.

Enjoy great dating after we do the work for you. Contact J. Allen Matchmaking, we can help.

Fighting the winter blues can be tough. You are probably doing all the right things; staying active, getting outside, going out with friends. But if you are alone, sometimes doing all the right things just isn’t enough.

Shake the winter blues by having a few dates with people that you want to date; people that you could potentially have a future with; people with whom you share the same goals.

How? By using a matchmaker. On-line dating sites, blind dates and the singles bar scene are not really the way to meet quality people. You may go on dates using these techniques, but if you’re honest with yourself, when was the last time that you had a quality date by doing this? When was the last time you said, “she is exactly what I am looking for,” or “he is exactly who he said he was”?

By using a professional matchmaker, your dating expectations can be raised again. There is no point in lowering the bar. Raise it to where you want it, and have your standards met. J. Allen Matchmaking does the heavy lifting for you. We screen each candidate and make sure, before we set up the date, that this is who you are looking for.

Contact J. Allen Matchmaking to find the perfect match.

Finding true love isn't about having the right shoes or a flat stomach,  it's about being ready. In her new book, Patti Novak, star of the A&E series “Confessions of a Matchmaker,” breaks down how to get yourself ready to date by first understanding and fixing your own problems. Here is a  diagnosis of some common dating problems and their underlying causes.

Self-Diagnosis: Identifying the true problem behind your behavior so you can stop it, fix it, and get over it

Chances are, if you’re having trouble dating, you have something to do with it. People often think the problem is external,  external factors play a part, most of the time, most people’s problems with dating and finding love are their own.

If everyone you date is a jerk, don’t agree to date them.

If you can’t make it to a professional matchmaker, life coach, anything that gets you to look at yourself and your behavior and gets you in the habit of being more self-aware and self-reflective can be tremendously helpful when looking for love. Which is why identifying yourself and the types of people you commonly date is so important.

Identifying your problem behaviors in dating is a very important step.

Dating trouble isn't the problem — it's a symptom of other problems.

This is crucial to understand: If you’re having trouble finding love, chances are dating is not your main problem. Chances are your trouble with dating is a symptom of other problems — larger, emotional issues that are at the core of who you are.

You need to identify those larger and deeper emotional issues. Taking a cold, hard look at yourself and developing a deeper understanding of who you are and why is one of the most important and fundamental parts of the process of finding love. People spend years having trouble in relationships or not having any relationships because they’ve been too afraid to sit themselves down and try to get to the true cause of their dating difficulties.

Some problems are easier to solve than others. Some clients come to me with issues that are relatively easy to fix once those issues are identified.

Maybe it’s a question of low self-esteem for someone who has gained weight after a bad breakup or after a long period of being alone. Starting a fitness program might be just the spark they need to get them back on track and feeling better about themselves.

But for most of the people, a few basic, fundamental and relatively easy to fix problems are the most common causes of dating difficulties.

If you are interested in changing your dating habits and are looking for help in dating, dating advice and finding a match, contact J. Allen Matchmaking.

Original article, MSNBC

The following are some of the most common reasons why online dating doesn't work. If you are having problems with making your Internet relationships last here are some reasons why. Tired of trying to make them work? Try a Professional Matchmaker.

It Takes Work
Relationships take work but Internet ones take even more work. If you have a busy lifestyle, you may find it hard to keep up with the demands of online dating. Internet dating means you have to set time aside to chat or the relationship will fizzle out.
 
Is it Worth It?
You long to be with your Internet boyfriend or girlfriend but since he or she lives hundreds of miles away, you know it's just not possible. After some time, this longing takes over and you start to resent your online fling.
 
Is the Relationship Going Anywhere?
You will find that many people who date online want to keep it on the Internet. This may be due to not feeling confident and fearing that the person will not like him or her. The problem with this is how long are you willing to stay in a relationship with someone who may never want to meet you?

Are they Online With Anyone Else?
The downside of meeting someone on the Internet is that it is possible for him or her to be chatting with other people. Even if you have been talking with this person for a while, he or she may be tempted to stray. The Internet has made it easy for people to cheat emotionally.

They Weren't Totally Truthful
Your online date is great to chat with on the Internet but when you meet the person in real life, you may not actually like him or her. It's not that the person lied to you; it's just that maybe the person’s profile or photo was not totally accurate.

It Gets Old
It isn’t easy to sit on your computer and talk with your online date every night. After a few months, it's not as exciting and it is easy to be bored.
 
It may make sense for you to try another, less time consuming and more promising way to start dating someone and find your soul mate; contact J. Allen Matchmaking.

Original article - Love to Know